There is nearly always a point in our lives when we ask questions on a soul level about our friends. Do i like my friend more than a friend? have i feelings? do they feel the same? is it a soul connection? is it just physical? There are so many feelings that stop us from moving forwards or doing anything about an attraction that could be mutual. When it comes to friends and lovers the biggest fear about moving forwards is Rejection! Rejection is something that should be seen as a positive. Rejection is in effect a release for your soul, a pathway to freedom and the end of a vicious cycle of overthinking and wondering. There are the times friends become one night stands and how to deal with that, and then there are the friends to lovers which just fits perfect two -souls who are ready to be….lets see what could lie ahead with some friend to lover situations…
Speaking UP and Rejection
Naturally the easiest thing to do which is easier said than done is OWN UP AND CONFESS your attraction. The problem as mentioned before is the fear of rejection. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and speak up. You may not hear what you are liking. Thats ok. There are ways to deal with rejection. If you do find yourself in this situation you are being given an opportunity to toughen up emotionally, set yourself free of this burden and leaving your door open for all the wonderful options the universe sends your way. But hang on a second i hear you ask- WHAT IF? Yes there is always that chance of what if they change their minds. It is important if you face this rejection that you do not live your life by living the “what if” scenario. All you will do by living the “what if” scenario is wasting time and as you know time is precious. Do not be toxic on yourself by hanging on in there- I am sure you know the old expression do not flog a dead horse. If you unfortunately are at the receiving end of rejection it does not mean the end of your friendship. It may mean you have to take some space for yourself away from this friend but it will set you free of the emotional burden. Its not a negative everything has a silver lining and look it as a way that you are able to be completely honest with this friend. In the long run you may actually find your friendship is stronger but maybe you have to step back to deal with your own emotional confusion.
Speaking up and confusion
Sometimes though when we speak up we are met with confusion. Shock. Unexpected reaction from your friend. They are taken aback. This is because they have thought about it but knocked it out of their head. They are confused in their emotions. Its like they have moved on but not really let the idea go. They may even have an emotional goal elsewhere or their own personal ambitions around them. You may not have fitted in with their plans, you confuse them. What you are effectively doing is giving them an opportunity… a new direction. Effectively you are drawing them back to that emotional and soul connection they may have felt with you. The best thing to do is not to push for anything here and let the friendship grow naturally. This is an instance where you are to treat as an option until you are made a priority. You will find if the physical attraction is there it will happen and you will both get past awkward moments. When you are met with confusion there is no right or wrong answer just a “state of play” of seeing how things go. You may have to be patient before you get a yes or no and may find that you date or they date elsewhere. Its important to remove all tensions and insecurities and just be natural and if its meant to flourish it will. The key here is to put no pressure on either side. The old saying “if its meant for you it will not pass you by” comes into play here.
The one night stand
This one can be very difficult. Talking is key here. You may not want more and they may do and vice versa. Some people find it very easy to just sweep this one under the carpet and that works if both parties are willing to do so. If one wants to talk and the other does not, clearly we have a problem. The talker has an emotional connection. Its important and respectful that you listen and do not hide. Its all lessons here. It is important to make a mutual decision either way as Chinese whispers have a great way of getting about. You would be surprised though how many relationships start off from that one night stand that is usually alcohol fuelled. With this one have no shame, embarrassment and regret. Everything happens for a reason. If you want to talk and they do not, do not push- people talk when they are ready. The one night stand can be the most complicated but the usual lesson to come from this is setting boundaries.
When the Glove Fits
Sometimes its just perfect. The best relationships are those that are when the lovers are best friends. Sometimes it can be a bit of a rocky journey and road for your soul connection to be made but best friends leads to the longest relationships. It will happen naturally and you will feel comfortable to speak up. When the glove fits you just know. Its about two souls who are developed and at the same stage in life, ready to move forwards together. This friendship is the easiest to make decisions to move forwards. The lines of communication are established and boundaries set.
There is no right or wrong answer with friends to lovers. When a few flaws and problems are ironed out it can be the best fit. Friends have the best chance to become lovers. They have a connection that is built and its just about the timing of two souls to add that bit of passion and lust. A good solid friendship has the best undertaking for a solid long lasting loving relationship and the key is listening and compromise. Where is your heart pulling you?